Spaz does dishes…?

The morning’s saga of de-HAZMAT-ing my too long neglected kitchen:

9:00 am – Praying for fortitude.

9:01-9:15 am – Lying on the sofa pretending God doesn’t speak English, and that my prayer for motivation with the dishes is as good as unanswered.

9:15 am – Praying again.

9:16 am – Getting up, adding Janelle Monae to my OneRepublic Pandora station, and promptly sitting back down to read celebrity gossip news online. Megan Fox’s life is REALLY interesting.

9:56 am – Feeling the music, yes! Lighting incense cuz it’s GO time! Running water in the sink for the ready dishes and a bucket for the stubborn ones.

10:10 am – Washing dishes! Woo!

10:15 am – Rinsing my right glove and patting it dry to give a “thumbs up” to the awesome song that’s playing.

10:17 am – Washing dishes! Woo!

10:25 am – Rinsing my right glove and patting it dry so I can give a “thumbs up” to the awesome song that’s playing…as well as two other awesome songs five songs back.

10:27 am – Washing dishes! Woo!

10:32 am – Rinsing my right glove and patting it dry so I can give a “thumbs DOWN” to the random song killing my groove.

10:34 am – Washing dishes! Woo!

10:45 am – washing dishes. woo. Except without the groove. The groove is gone; it’s dead; it is NOT in the house. My back is hurting, I swear the dirty dishes are multiplying, and as the dishwasher is approaching full it is creeping over me that I have NO clue where my forks are. How can it be that I have no cutlery? Taking quick inventory I’m finding plates, pots, pans, a new and newly soiled blender, two sets of crappy should-be-sharp knives, and somehow no spoons, forks, or butter knives? Worse still the question persisting is how long have they been missing?

10:50 am – Continuing to load each tiny heavy dish one by one in the kitchen that time forgot.

11:01 am – Emptying sink, emptying bucket, filling Brita water pitcher, restoring the groove to my Pandora station, slumping over oj, wishing the oj was a mimosa.

First round done.

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