We Were On a Break

Game of Thrones and I have been on a break because she* broke my heart.

So I shouldn’t feel guilty about picking up Self-Inflicted Wounds, right? I mean, it’s a comedy…apples and oranges…And we were ON a break.

Anyhow, I couldn’t stay away. And since I’ve let her back into my world she has redeemed herself quite satisfactorily. Still it’s early yet. I don’t mean to cast doubt on the beautiful thing we’ve got going here, but she’s been around the block a few times, and word travels. We’ll see how long the lovin’ lasts.

*That’s right – my book, like my car, is a SHE.

My Traumatic Day of Work (before Christmas)

┬áThe little tickle I felt on my ankle in the workroom as I made my last copies turned out to be the Critter That Shall Not Be Named. I screamed, but tried to muffle it down to that scream you make at the movie theater when you don’t want everyone to think you’re a punk, or at a ladies’ luncheon when someone unveils an ugly baby. I definitely danced, though, and stomped with a Holy Ghost fervor all the other imaginary Critters out of my pants legs.

Sigh.

And in true Spaz fashion, I’ve been under the mistaken impression that I published this one a week ago.

Adventures in Epic Cleaning Day

No major drama so far, except…I dropped a pair of fresh undies in transition from laundromat washer to dryer ON. THE. FLOOR. {Shudder} I’m thinking about throwing them away. They fell wet – primed to pick up and incubate many a sinister amoeba or plague. They are definitely resigned to the quarantine bucket until further notice. Sigh, Spaz can’t even do laundry right.

Letter From the Cocoon

Dear World,

As you know, I’ve installed an observation window so that you, too, can be involved in this invigorating process of change and restoration…but you don’t seem to be popping by nearly as often as you used to. I heard that snippety Cricket clicking her legs about how every day looks the same in here. YOU’RE MISSING THE LITTLE MIRACLES! Just this morning there began an AMAZING new tingling sensation in my…WHERE DID MY THIRD LEG GO?? What a thrill ride! Ant suggested I call her when I’m “cooked”. Whatever – shake them haters off. Oh wait, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Suckas,

Caterpillar